I'm only human.
In moments like these, I feel so small. It's like the walls are closing in around me. I scroll through the news feed and it's bad news again.
It's also been raining all week.
Students shot for confessing their faith in Jesus, small children paying the price for the world's suffering, the unveiling of the real truth behind the abortion industry, and the never ending marginalization and attacks on every people group in this county.
Where does one find peace when its hard to be still? Where do we find resolve for seemingly unforgivable acts? Is this the world I just brought my sweet girl into?
Where is the redemption?
The Bible tells us that in this world we will have troubles and suffering. It's hard to stomach that truth when you just want to know why. How do you make peace with the world?
In this world we may never find the peace that we are searching for because peace, in it's truest and most sincere form, came in the form of Jesus coming to earth, living a sinless life, and taking on the garbage, sin, suffering, and injustice of the world. He is our peace. And for me, my only peace.
Psalm 116:1-9 says:
I love the Lord, for he heard my voice;
he heard my cry for mercy.
2 Because he turned his ear to me,
I will call on him as long as I live.
3 The cords of death entangled me,
the anguish of the grave came over me;
I was overcome by distress and sorrow.
4 Then I called on the name of the Lord:
“Lord, save me!”
5 The Lord is gracious and righteous;
our God is full of compassion.
6 The Lord protects the unwary;
when I was brought low, he saved me.
7 Return to your rest, my soul,
for the Lord has been good to you.
8 For you, Lord, have delivered me from death,
my eyes from tears,
my feet from stumbling,
9 that I may walk before the Lord
in the land of the living.
Verse 5 came to my mind this morning as I contemplated all of these things. Besides the things that are going on around me, I have troubles of my own and find myself so overwhelmed lately.
I was in Paper Source the other day and I found a beautiful new journal. The front cover was a watercolor painting and in the middle it said, "Be Still."
But where? When? How? I always thought that being still was the absence of chaos, but now that I am a mom I have found that being still is my ability to stop, breathe, and reflect (like I am doing right now) under all the pressure and chaos. Sometimes I have no choice. I can't escape. Luckily, God is everywhere and, as a believer, I know that His spirit lives inside of me and goes with me...before me even.
I heard Dave Edwards speak at a young adult service once and he said something that really struck a chord with me. He said, "God has the last say."
It may not seem like it now, but with God there is always a redemptive purpose. Just read His Word, you will see it too.
I don't have any answers and I don't see His redemptive purpose at times, but I know for sure that He never leaves us or forsakes us.
I grew a little this week. I realized some things. I saw Christians, who would not normally stand up and declare it from the rooftops, stand tall and confident in their identity in Christ.
The fall of a few inspired the courage of many.
Maybe that's the answer.