I had a few things to get off my chest. So, in the spirit of good etiquette, I decided to write some cordial letters to communicate my feelings in a productive way.
Dear Husband (Michael),
I apologize in advance for setting the kitchen on fire. I will strive to do better next time.
Your Loving Wife.
Dear High School Bully,
There are times when I feel ashamed to confess that my sister and I pushed you out of the girls locker room half-dressed and locked the door behind you. But then I remember how funny it was, chuckle to myself, and then I don't feel so bad.
I hope you have come to peace with yourself and have hopefully stopped tormenting other humans.
I could not possibly owe you another cent. There is just no way.
Dear High School Drama Teacher,
I am sorry for flirting with all the boys when I should have been learning lines, but I did a pretty stellar job at competition. Don't you think?
Dear College Roommate,
I think that random guy that I discovered in our room is now wanted by the police, just FYI.
Keep in Touch!!!
Friday couldn't come any sooner.
Dear Fresh Market Bakery Lady,
I hate to break this to you, but your doing it wrong. You don't fill the cannolis until right before you eat them so the shell is crunchy.
Soggy cannolis=sad Italian.
Dear Public Library,
I apologize that racking up late fees has been at an all time low. I lost my library card. If you issue me another one, I am sure that I could get my outstanding balance up pretty high in little to no time at all so you can continue to factor my late fee payments into your yearly budget.
My name is not Terri Sanders. It is also not Tara Saunders, nor is it Tara Sangers. It's just plain old Tara Sanders.
Please don't ever stop making coffee-EVER! PLEASE!
With High Expectations.
Dear Rubik's Cube,
I just don't get it.
Dear Grumpy Neighbors,
Michael and I are like the coolest people ever. You should seriously get to know us.
A girls gotta eat too. Please don't skimp. Michael's burrito bowl looks like a cornucopia and mine looks like a Costco sample cup.
Scoop it UP!
Dear Disney World,
You stated that part of your mission was to make all childhood dreams come true. However, I still have not received my free tickets.